more of a plea than a rant..

Ahhh as one of my most hated days of the year is upon us, I felt a need to get a lil something off my chest.  Mothers Day....A day to honor the women who bore us, raised us and hopefully loved us.  Okay first i will start off with a brief description of my mother...My mother wasn't the homemaker that was always there to offer a snack or help with homework.  She put a lot of responsibility on us (especially me being the oldest) that i still don't think was exactly necessary.  In other words when i became a mother i did not want to model myself after her.  However she is still my mother.  We have our differences and we are not very close anymore.  I have serious hard feeling toward her due to the fact that she is not much of a grandmother to my children.  But as far as holding how she raised me against her?  I can't.  As i am a mother i know that you don't always know what to do.  Sometimes you think your doing everything you can even though you might not be.  I think parenting is a learning process that you really never have a total grip...not to mention that every kid needs something different.  So therefore i realized my mother was learning.  I think she did the best she could for who she was.  So i make sure that i do recognized not what she didn't do for me, but all the things she did do.  I think it's the least i can do. 
Now i hate Mothers day and wish i never was included as a mother in the holiday.  I find it a rather shitty day.  And that is sad,  I envy mothers who love mothers day and feel appreciated.  I don't think i will ever like the holiday, 
So my point is on this upcoming holiday, try to make it nice for your mother regardless if she was super mom, or if she didn't quite make the cut.  God knows she most likely tried.